Hello (I say rather sheepishly), is there anyone still out there? It's been ages!! Sorry!
Anyway, what have we been up to since last month (can't believe it's been that long)!
Well, as it's now August, we have tried to take time out like the schooled kids, but when you home educate you realise that kids never really take time off! Everything they do and everywhere they go, they are learning. But we are not doing projects, we haven't done any structured lessons and the only stuff we have done has been 'as and when it happens' stuff. So that's time off for us!
The last week or so of July was taking up by finishing off work for the year and gathering everything together into understandable sections - not easy when you start things, go off on tangents and then come back to stuff, but we managed it and were quite surprised by how much we'd actually done! Lots of science stuff surfaced and at least 3 major projects with lots of little ones on the side!
Callum decided he would like to show off his work to some of his friends and family, so we had about a dozen people round (he chose who he wanted, designed invites and printed them off and got them sent) for an 'open day' with Phil doing a very basic BBQ of burgers and sausages! I was rather impressed with Callum actually as he not only took charge of the invites, but he decided what work he wanted out, displayed it and set up a 'science room' in the utility room with work and some experiments. He then proceeded, on the day, to organise a rota of demonstrations of said experiments in approx 15min intervals and went over them again so later arrivals could also join in. He did it all by himself and I was very proud of him!
We also had our yearly home education beach day in July. Weather held, although was very cloudy; only raining later on in the afternoon. Quite a few families turned up and we met some new families - belated thanks to Ann for organising!!! Callum had a wonderful day and spent most of the time down in the water. It was while he was down there that I realised how much he'd grown! I was looking for him from up on the sands where we were sitting and Phil said that he was with the big boys in the water. I said I couldn't see him and then realised that he was one of the big boys!!!! Oops!! There I was looking for a little 'un! Hey ho!
So far during August we have been on a Monk's day at Rochester with Lorraine and Amy; trampolining lessons (last one of the year for the group and a couple of private ones); Ann's house for play; out with a new friend who we met through MAGIC; Callum's been on 3 Activity Days with MAGIC on his own (well, without me, but with Callum D); Trosley Park with our ASD home ed group; Capstone with Linda and Danielle to do water survey (which we never got round to doing with big sis) and to play and we've seen his best mate Callum as much as possible. All in all, our relaxing August has been a very busy, very socialable and very pleasant month!
Still to come is beach day with our, now not so, baby group. It's become an annual event! 3 mums and 4 kids down to Broadstairs. The kids have grown up together and it's like getting together with family, so really nice! We also have a zoo trip planned; more trampolining and a visit to Natural History Museum for The Deep exhibition in London and hopefully more play dates. By then it'll be September and we will need to start thinking (note I said thinking - hehe) about getting back to a routine of 'school'! Well, we will see what happens won't we?
Anyway, you are now filled in! So cya soon.
Friday, 20 August 2010
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
HOSPITAL, PARTY AND RAIN
Well it's been a couple of weeks since I last told you what we've been up to and to be honest it hasn't really been much. Although, I always seem to say that and then end up writing reams of stuff, haha.We downloaded our Dover Castle pictures this week and are now gathering quite a lot of information to go into our Castles project folder. We also made a salt dough motte and Callum built a bailey out of cocktail sticks and strips of newspaper. We've made a shield (see left) to represent him as a knight and cut out and stuck together (well I did as it was glue, which he doesn't like, and tiny, so he would have got frustrated) a square keep castle so we have two forms of castle to show people. I also managed to get a Knights and Castles activity box for £1.99, which has a poster, mask, booklet and sticker scene in it. Actually I think we've overdone the resources on castles, so won't have to buy anything about those for a while - hehe.
He had his best friend's party on the 3rd July. He had a bowling party at the local AMF bowling alley and had a fab time. It was mostly boys apart from Callum D's sisters and friend and, bearing in mind my Callum didn't know at least one person there and hadn't seen the others for ages, he got on with all of them brilliantly and he ate (including anyone's leftovers!!!!!).
We also dogsat for his uncle's dog Floyd who Callum adores and on their return they stayed for a BBQ, so Callum thoroughly enjoyed his weekend.
The week beginning the 5th was a bit slow, as I had to have an op on my leg on the Tuesday and didn't really feel like doing much. It was an outpatient’s op, but for the rest of the afternoon on Tuesday and all day Wednesday I was still full of anaesthetic, so keep dozing. Luckily my daughter, Terri, came over on the Tuesday and she and Callum had a baking day while I was in hospital and sleeping afterwards, so it was only really Wednesday where he had to occupy himself. Having the permission to be on the Wii all day instead of working or shopping or helping out though was a bit of a bonus for him, so he definitely wasn't complaining! ;-)
Thursday I was feeling a little bit more normal, whatever that is, and we went to trampolining as usual, had Amy and her mum Lorraine back afterwards for an hour or so and then off to MAGIC in the evening with Callum D. MAGIC is a special Autistic night at the local indoor play centre. It is only open to our group so the children can run, shout, play and generally have a great time without the worry of anyone thinking that they are different. It's a fab night and I managed to get some reading done and drink tea - bliss.
On the Friday we had been invited to the Kent Autistic Trust's opening of an art exhibition by local Autistic adults. It was lovely to be able to see their work and it was all outstanding and I'm not just saying this, their work was wonderful and if I'd had the money I would have bought lots as would have Callum (he already owns two original pieces of art and he loves them both). The only downside was that the exhibition was in a fairly small room and it got pretty crowded and noisy in there. We all spilled into the hall where there was food and drink and could have a chat and meet up with others. Callum managed about an hour before it got too much and we decided to leave, popping into Wilkinson's on the way home to pick up photo paper, bird food and bits of stationery that we were low on.
We had a relaxing weekend of doing nothing in particular and then have concentrated on putting the finishing touches to our project over the past couple of days. We did take some time out to do some phonic work and to recap on shapes and our delivery of lovely books turned up this morning, which included a set of Spongebob Squarepants books for Callum to read. He hates reading, but will read Hairy McClary and now Spongebob. He loves watching the cartoons and was hoping that he would read the books - he devoured 4 in total today!!! I also continued with reading Skullduggery Pleasant to him this afternoon after lunch.
Anyway, more work tomorrow, trampolining on Thursday and, hopefully, water survey at Mote Park with big sis on Friday. Oh yes, the rain! Forgot to mention the rain. It rained here yesterday all morning and guess what Callum did? He went out in it, in his pjs and a coat and spent the whole morning brushing the puddles (our patio area gets flooded as there is only one soakaway). He had a whale of a time making waves and watching the water splash about. When the rain stopped, he came in!!!! Bless him. Oh well, each to their own and it did mean I could catch up with six months (yes six months) of filing!! Eeek there was a lot of paper!
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
WORK, WORK, WORK AND A PROFOUND OBSERVATION BY CALLUM
Hello everyone
I said last week that Callum had been energised by his little weekend away and had worked really well! It seems to have continued into this week too (or last week, by the time I blog this and you read it).
We have concentrated on our 'Castles' project and the 'sh' sound in literacy and this is where the extreme conflict in education really notices. One of the activities we are doing for our project is to compare different types of castle; look at different defences and discuss pros and cons, etc. This is actually Key Stage 3 work (11-14yrs old), but the literacy work is infant school. Callum is perfectly capable of doing the Key Stage 3 work and he's even produced a short Powerpoint presentation on it, picking out main points, importing pictures, researching on Google, etc and he has done it all by himself after an initial 'how to' instruction from me. He's also doing Key Stage 3 work in Science and coping really well with only a few stumbles on the scientific names (but most kids would do that at first). However, when it comes to getting this information down he is, as already mentioned, doing infant literacy so can't write things up without a great deal of help. Doing the Powerpoint was easy as he could copy and paste the bits he wanted and then had to do a slight edit to make the information fit the page. As his reading is fine and his general keyboard skills are good(ish) he's capable of doing that. But writing from scratch is impossible and he would tire mentally far too quickly and then get so stressed that nothing would get done.
I've talked about these issues on here many times, so I'm not going to go into it any further, but it's here that the true advantage of home education compared to school education shows because in home education it doesn't matter! At school he would just be finishing Key Stage 2 and he would be struggling desperately! Not because intellectually he couldn't do the work, but because he couldn't 'prove' that he could! This would lead him to have bad grades, probably be treated as if he was stupid and his self esteem would plummet. He would also be bored silly and, therefore, disruptive as they would probably keep him down at Key Stage 1 until he could write fluently!
Because we can work at the pace that suits our children, our children can be on lots of different levels in lots of different subjects and it doesn't matter if they are advanced in some and behind in others. I truly believe that at the end of the day it will all even out! What I think is more important is that Callum has fun and enjoys his education. That way he is more likely to learn, want to learn in the first place and to retain the information. Anyway, that's my little soap box bit done - hehe.
With regard to our project we visited Dover Castle this week. It was a straightforward train journey to Dover Priory (although our train was cancelled so the journey down didn't turn out as straightforward as we'd hoped, but at least Callum got to see a train of two halves become a complete one) and then we took a taxi to the castle itself. I knew it was on the top of a hill and didn't fancy my leg killing me before I'd even got through the gates. The castle was fab and I managed 3 flights of spiral stairs before giving up. Callum, on the other hand, made it all the way to the top!! We also went down into the medieval tunnels which were a bit dark, steep and creepy, but good! Actually we did a lot of walking up and down hills, stairs and over walls and I was quite impressed by myself as well as Callum - go us!!
The weather was lovely and we had a picnic lunch on the grass. This was our first encounter of the french pupils and we kept bumping into them off and on for the rest of the afternoon. It was while outside the shop that Callum made his profound observation. There was an English school group on the grass to the right of us who weren't really doing a lot and were more interested in chasing the pidgeons (they were about Callum's age, 10-11, so not little) and a French group to our left who were either playing games with their goodies that they had bought from the gift shop or waiting patiently on the grass for their turn to go in. Callum looked from one group to the other and then turned to me and said "Mum, the French children are much better behaved than the English ones aren't they? They seem really interested in what they are doing. Our lot are just being naughty!!" Wow!!! How's that for an observation and what does that tell us about our country? Hopefully, our school lot would be better behaved if in France, but something tells me that they probably wouldn't be.
Actually, talking about France, one of the highlights of Callum's day was when we were up on the look out point. As the weather was sunny and pretty clear, you could actually see France on the horizon! I pointed the hills in the distance out to Callum and asked him what he thought they were, he said he thought it was England, but a different bit (like we can see Grain from the Strand or Southend from Allhallows). When I told him it was actually France he was well impressed!! He could actually see a completely different and unconnected land mass and he thought that was pretty cool!!
After visiting the castle we walked down to the beach and we spent some time letting him watch the waves and see the ferries going in and out of the harbour. Then it was a quick walk back to the station and home. Needless to say he was pretty shattered and he collapsed on the sofa for the rest of the evening, even going to bed 1/2hr earlier as he was knackered, bless him.
We are downloading photos next week and finishing off our project.
We didn't go to the Fuse Festival in Rochester, but went to the SOS day at Hillyfields instead. Had a great afternoon, we met up with his mate Callum and his family, spoke to the SOS bus staff and the policemen; had icecream; a bounce on the bouncy castle and then a trip to the play area for a play. Weather was lovely and we had the advantage that it was a 5min walk home rather than a 20 min walk and train journey.
Well, that's it for now. See you all later!
I said last week that Callum had been energised by his little weekend away and had worked really well! It seems to have continued into this week too (or last week, by the time I blog this and you read it).
We have concentrated on our 'Castles' project and the 'sh' sound in literacy and this is where the extreme conflict in education really notices. One of the activities we are doing for our project is to compare different types of castle; look at different defences and discuss pros and cons, etc. This is actually Key Stage 3 work (11-14yrs old), but the literacy work is infant school. Callum is perfectly capable of doing the Key Stage 3 work and he's even produced a short Powerpoint presentation on it, picking out main points, importing pictures, researching on Google, etc and he has done it all by himself after an initial 'how to' instruction from me. He's also doing Key Stage 3 work in Science and coping really well with only a few stumbles on the scientific names (but most kids would do that at first). However, when it comes to getting this information down he is, as already mentioned, doing infant literacy so can't write things up without a great deal of help. Doing the Powerpoint was easy as he could copy and paste the bits he wanted and then had to do a slight edit to make the information fit the page. As his reading is fine and his general keyboard skills are good(ish) he's capable of doing that. But writing from scratch is impossible and he would tire mentally far too quickly and then get so stressed that nothing would get done.
I've talked about these issues on here many times, so I'm not going to go into it any further, but it's here that the true advantage of home education compared to school education shows because in home education it doesn't matter! At school he would just be finishing Key Stage 2 and he would be struggling desperately! Not because intellectually he couldn't do the work, but because he couldn't 'prove' that he could! This would lead him to have bad grades, probably be treated as if he was stupid and his self esteem would plummet. He would also be bored silly and, therefore, disruptive as they would probably keep him down at Key Stage 1 until he could write fluently!
Because we can work at the pace that suits our children, our children can be on lots of different levels in lots of different subjects and it doesn't matter if they are advanced in some and behind in others. I truly believe that at the end of the day it will all even out! What I think is more important is that Callum has fun and enjoys his education. That way he is more likely to learn, want to learn in the first place and to retain the information. Anyway, that's my little soap box bit done - hehe.
With regard to our project we visited Dover Castle this week. It was a straightforward train journey to Dover Priory (although our train was cancelled so the journey down didn't turn out as straightforward as we'd hoped, but at least Callum got to see a train of two halves become a complete one) and then we took a taxi to the castle itself. I knew it was on the top of a hill and didn't fancy my leg killing me before I'd even got through the gates. The castle was fab and I managed 3 flights of spiral stairs before giving up. Callum, on the other hand, made it all the way to the top!! We also went down into the medieval tunnels which were a bit dark, steep and creepy, but good! Actually we did a lot of walking up and down hills, stairs and over walls and I was quite impressed by myself as well as Callum - go us!!
The weather was lovely and we had a picnic lunch on the grass. This was our first encounter of the french pupils and we kept bumping into them off and on for the rest of the afternoon. It was while outside the shop that Callum made his profound observation. There was an English school group on the grass to the right of us who weren't really doing a lot and were more interested in chasing the pidgeons (they were about Callum's age, 10-11, so not little) and a French group to our left who were either playing games with their goodies that they had bought from the gift shop or waiting patiently on the grass for their turn to go in. Callum looked from one group to the other and then turned to me and said "Mum, the French children are much better behaved than the English ones aren't they? They seem really interested in what they are doing. Our lot are just being naughty!!" Wow!!! How's that for an observation and what does that tell us about our country? Hopefully, our school lot would be better behaved if in France, but something tells me that they probably wouldn't be.
Actually, talking about France, one of the highlights of Callum's day was when we were up on the look out point. As the weather was sunny and pretty clear, you could actually see France on the horizon! I pointed the hills in the distance out to Callum and asked him what he thought they were, he said he thought it was England, but a different bit (like we can see Grain from the Strand or Southend from Allhallows). When I told him it was actually France he was well impressed!! He could actually see a completely different and unconnected land mass and he thought that was pretty cool!!
After visiting the castle we walked down to the beach and we spent some time letting him watch the waves and see the ferries going in and out of the harbour. Then it was a quick walk back to the station and home. Needless to say he was pretty shattered and he collapsed on the sofa for the rest of the evening, even going to bed 1/2hr earlier as he was knackered, bless him.
We are downloading photos next week and finishing off our project.
We didn't go to the Fuse Festival in Rochester, but went to the SOS day at Hillyfields instead. Had a great afternoon, we met up with his mate Callum and his family, spoke to the SOS bus staff and the policemen; had icecream; a bounce on the bouncy castle and then a trip to the play area for a play. Weather was lovely and we had the advantage that it was a 5min walk home rather than a 20 min walk and train journey.
Well, that's it for now. See you all later!
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
A YEAR OLDER AND HAVING FUN!
Hi all
I know it's been another couple of weeks since posting, sorry all, but it's been busy!
Firstly, Callum has had a birthday, he's now 11 - wow!! And instead of having a party to celebrate we took his best friend off to my Callum's favourite place, Great Yarmouth Haven Site. He loves it there for several reasons, but mainly because of the wind farm out at sea which is clearly seen from the beach!
This little weekend away was a big thing for Callum as he has never had/been to a sleepover before (he's never wanted one or to go to one), so I wasn't entirely sure how things would go and the fact that we only booked a two bedroomed caravan could have proved a bit difficult if the boys hadn't got on! I did a bit of investigating when got there and found the double bed in the sofa, so if the worst came to the worst myself and Phil would have to sleep there, but then there would have been an issue with bedding. We always take our own as Callum prefers his own things.
Anyway, the weekend went fine. Callum and Callum got on fabulously and didn't argue once! They spent the whole weekend either on the beach or in the arcades with a kart hire and crazy golf as extras. They did get up ridiculously early mind you! 5.30am on Saturday, 6.30am on Sunday and my C was up 7.30am Monday with CD up around 8am. I'm surprised that they didn't completely crash, but they didn't. Actually my C did on Saturday as we wanted to watch the England match and he wasn't particularly interested so curled up with the dog on the floor and fell asleep. The other Callum kept nodding off, but was determined to stay up 'til the end of the match, but as soon as his head hit the pillow afterwards he was gone, bless him. The Monday after we signed out we spend the morning and afternoon in The Model Village which Callum had remembered from last time and wanted to go again!
On our return we spent most of the week uploading photos and making a display folder for all our holiday stuff, photos, brochures, etc. We also finished off the display folder from our holiday in Cornwall earlier this year. Callum seemed very energised after the break and worked really well.
Thursday was trampolining as normal and his sister came along to watch. Callum was on top form and worked really well, smiling and being very affectionate to our coach James! I'd invited everyone back to the house afterwards for an impromptu tea and play, doing a emergency shop online the day before to get things delivered. I even managed to get a birthday cake, which he didn't have while we were away. Callum had a great time and didn't get stressed once!
Friday, Callum D came round as my Callum wanted to play his new Wii Mario game with him. This meant I could catch up on emails and finances.
Saturday was Fuse Festival in the High Street. Fuse is an arts festival with music, fun stuff, puppets, etc. I wanted to go last year as in my youth I worked for Arts in Medway and we helped to organise stuff like this, so it was a reminder of days gone by. However, Callum doesn't like the High Street on Saturdays or Mondays as it is also market day. But I managed to persuade him to go (for an hour said I) to see what was there. Ended up being up there the whole afternoon (12.30pm - 4pm) with us coming home for a quick cuppa (we are only 5mins away) before returning. Callum loved it all, although the music group Bang On was a bit noisy for him. They use household items to make drumming music and Callum really liked it, but couldn't stand and listen for too long as it hurt his ears. He loved, however, the moving Bollards from Bureau of Silly Ideas and the completely crazy nun called Musical Ruth who was a guy dressed up as a nun riding on a mobility scooter that had been converted into a church organ (see photo). He was hilarious and completely bonkers, but Callum adored him. Am hoping to go to Rochester this weekend as they are having their turn then.
Sunday, 6 June 2010
Well I was hoping for a better week this week and I got it! Yay!! Well, kind of as we did have an unpleasant event to go to near the beginning of the week.
But let's start at the beginning - Monday. Monday was bank holiday and the start of the school 1/2 term. We don't really have a holiday as such, but as it's the only time we can catch up properly with people who still go to school, it normally turns out to be a holiday, albeit a very sociable one. Monday was also the day after my birthday, so as I was still in birthday mode the morning was spent with me reading one of my two Jeremy Clarkson books that Callum had given me, Phil pottering about and Callum was happy on the Wii. The afternoon we each had our own visitors which was kind of weird, but kind of neat too. Callum had Callum and they switched between playing upstairs with the train set and playing on the Wii with the occasionally venture into the garden for a bounce on the trampoline. Phil had an old friend Tony and so they were happily drinking beer and cooking dinner. And I had my beloved daughter pop in after her weekend away and got more pressies (a cuddly owl - I love owls - and an EtchASketch - cool)!!
Tuesday was a damp day in both respects as it was raining heavily and we had a funeral to go to! Never sure about Callum and funerals as it's a pretty intense event for any child, but especially one on ASD spectrum. They don't always feel or understand empathy, so the fact that everyone is sad must seem a bit strange to them and also having to sit quietly for any length of time is always very hard. But I have to say that Callum did superbly!! I explained that there would be people very upset and that he was to be respectful of them and not be noisy or fidgety and try really hard not to have a hissy fit just because he was getting bored! And he didn't!! He sat beautifully through the service; he even sang the hymns and he spoke to those who spoke to him politely and shook their hands. There were a few people who he'd never seen before and strangers are always looked upon with a little distrust by Callum as he is not an Aspi who will speak to everyone and anyone; he is one that won't speak at all until he feels completely comfortable with them (this can take anything up to a year in some cases!). The fact that he not only spoke, but had physical contact made me very proud of him. He was happier once back at the house (his uncle's) as they have a Basset Hound called Floyd who he adores.
Wednesday we went to Riverside with my friend Lesley who has an autistic child who is a year and a half older than Callum called Louis. When they were both younger it was quite difficult when they met up as Louis is a physical boy and Callum isn't, but as they have got older they seem to be able to sort this out to a happy medium that suits them both and they get on pretty well. We had a nice walk along by the river where the boys went off exploring the beach and the rocks and any puddles they could find which culminated in a rabbit poo fight which was generally frowned on by us mums, but which the boys found highly hilarious!!! Hmmmm!! Then afterwards we went back to the play area so that we could have a cuppa and the boys an ice cream (ensuring that they'd washed their hands first of course!). All in all the afternoon was lovely and we ended it before anything got too out of control or hyper, so pretty perfect!!
Thursday was the usual trampolining class and Callum had a good lesson. He was a bit hyper this week though and rekindled his liking for Lauren by launching himself at her every 5 mins and pinning her to the ground (which puts the 'Callum isn't physical' bit out of the window, but he has known Lauren for nearly 2 years, so it actually doesn't if you think about it). I did try to tell him that boys shouldn't do that to girls and he should be treating her a bit more gentle, but Lauren informed me that it was ok and that she got worse from one of the other boys she knew!! Hmmmm, not sure what to make of that, but as long as they were both happy who was I to intervene. Just kept an eye out in case it got out of hand, bless them!!
Friday he had his Speech and Language Assessment in Chatham. He did really well considering and it proved what I already knew. Callum has trouble with combination sounds and breaking down words and needs to step right back with literacy to Infant level to gain verbal understanding of letter sounds, combination sounds and word formation before attempting writing. It's weird; I already knew this, but I feel a lot better now that I've been told that it's ok to do that and that it is exactly what Callum needs. She is sending me a letter to confirm the assessment and give me some ideas. She says that his understanding of language itself is brilliant and that he is intelligent and a quick learner, but that to successfully learn to write, he needs to go back to basics. This is partly due to his Aspergers and partly due to lack of confidence and the fear that he has instilled in himself about the subject, but that he should be able to grasp it quickly if taught in the correct way that suits him. It seemed that musical rhythm was helpful so I think I will go down that route as well as introducing a lot more craft things to help with his hand coordination and strength and have a look at poetry to help with word endings and beginnings.
This weekend he has enjoyed his dad's company a bit more as I was out for the day on Saturday and they have been to Riverside again with the dog, spent lots of time in the garden and he's been in computer phase instead of Wii.
As I said at the beginning, a much better week and no meltdowns! Fabulous!
But let's start at the beginning - Monday. Monday was bank holiday and the start of the school 1/2 term. We don't really have a holiday as such, but as it's the only time we can catch up properly with people who still go to school, it normally turns out to be a holiday, albeit a very sociable one. Monday was also the day after my birthday, so as I was still in birthday mode the morning was spent with me reading one of my two Jeremy Clarkson books that Callum had given me, Phil pottering about and Callum was happy on the Wii. The afternoon we each had our own visitors which was kind of weird, but kind of neat too. Callum had Callum and they switched between playing upstairs with the train set and playing on the Wii with the occasionally venture into the garden for a bounce on the trampoline. Phil had an old friend Tony and so they were happily drinking beer and cooking dinner. And I had my beloved daughter pop in after her weekend away and got more pressies (a cuddly owl - I love owls - and an EtchASketch - cool)!!
Tuesday was a damp day in both respects as it was raining heavily and we had a funeral to go to! Never sure about Callum and funerals as it's a pretty intense event for any child, but especially one on ASD spectrum. They don't always feel or understand empathy, so the fact that everyone is sad must seem a bit strange to them and also having to sit quietly for any length of time is always very hard. But I have to say that Callum did superbly!! I explained that there would be people very upset and that he was to be respectful of them and not be noisy or fidgety and try really hard not to have a hissy fit just because he was getting bored! And he didn't!! He sat beautifully through the service; he even sang the hymns and he spoke to those who spoke to him politely and shook their hands. There were a few people who he'd never seen before and strangers are always looked upon with a little distrust by Callum as he is not an Aspi who will speak to everyone and anyone; he is one that won't speak at all until he feels completely comfortable with them (this can take anything up to a year in some cases!). The fact that he not only spoke, but had physical contact made me very proud of him. He was happier once back at the house (his uncle's) as they have a Basset Hound called Floyd who he adores.
Wednesday we went to Riverside with my friend Lesley who has an autistic child who is a year and a half older than Callum called Louis. When they were both younger it was quite difficult when they met up as Louis is a physical boy and Callum isn't, but as they have got older they seem to be able to sort this out to a happy medium that suits them both and they get on pretty well. We had a nice walk along by the river where the boys went off exploring the beach and the rocks and any puddles they could find which culminated in a rabbit poo fight which was generally frowned on by us mums, but which the boys found highly hilarious!!! Hmmmm!! Then afterwards we went back to the play area so that we could have a cuppa and the boys an ice cream (ensuring that they'd washed their hands first of course!). All in all the afternoon was lovely and we ended it before anything got too out of control or hyper, so pretty perfect!!
Thursday was the usual trampolining class and Callum had a good lesson. He was a bit hyper this week though and rekindled his liking for Lauren by launching himself at her every 5 mins and pinning her to the ground (which puts the 'Callum isn't physical' bit out of the window, but he has known Lauren for nearly 2 years, so it actually doesn't if you think about it). I did try to tell him that boys shouldn't do that to girls and he should be treating her a bit more gentle, but Lauren informed me that it was ok and that she got worse from one of the other boys she knew!! Hmmmm, not sure what to make of that, but as long as they were both happy who was I to intervene. Just kept an eye out in case it got out of hand, bless them!!
Friday he had his Speech and Language Assessment in Chatham. He did really well considering and it proved what I already knew. Callum has trouble with combination sounds and breaking down words and needs to step right back with literacy to Infant level to gain verbal understanding of letter sounds, combination sounds and word formation before attempting writing. It's weird; I already knew this, but I feel a lot better now that I've been told that it's ok to do that and that it is exactly what Callum needs. She is sending me a letter to confirm the assessment and give me some ideas. She says that his understanding of language itself is brilliant and that he is intelligent and a quick learner, but that to successfully learn to write, he needs to go back to basics. This is partly due to his Aspergers and partly due to lack of confidence and the fear that he has instilled in himself about the subject, but that he should be able to grasp it quickly if taught in the correct way that suits him. It seemed that musical rhythm was helpful so I think I will go down that route as well as introducing a lot more craft things to help with his hand coordination and strength and have a look at poetry to help with word endings and beginnings.
This weekend he has enjoyed his dad's company a bit more as I was out for the day on Saturday and they have been to Riverside again with the dog, spent lots of time in the garden and he's been in computer phase instead of Wii.
As I said at the beginning, a much better week and no meltdowns! Fabulous!
Monday, 31 May 2010
Hello all
This past couple of weeks has been a bit odd on the home education front! It's been opposite ends of the spectrum if I'm honest!! Callum was keen last week for a start, haha! Which was a complete turn around from the week before which is where I suppose I should begin.
Weather was pretty good that week if I remember correctly and Callum (admittedly I was pretty much the same) just wasn't interested in doing anything remotely workbooky (I know that isn't a word, but it fits). With all this in mind we decided to say "let's have a social week instead" and he agreed! Now a lot of you may think that any kid would prefer a social week to a work week and I'm sure any school kid would love a week at home seeing his mates instead of being stuck in a classroom, but Callum, as we have ascertained on many occasions, is a bit different! Socialising to him can often be as stressful and as awful predicament than sitting in front of a workbook or, heaven forbid, sitting an exam! He doesn't 'enjoy' socialising unless it's on his terms and certainly not more than about once or twice a week, so the fact that he saw his best mate since nursery 3 times and had some children back after trampolining AND went to Gore Farm on the Sunday with my friend's (and his) girls was a bit of a shock!! 5 days out of 7 is a big thing!!! And he coped well and he enjoyed it and he wanted to do it, so all was good!!
I felt a bit guilty not getting anything remotely curriculumy (again I know that isn't a word) done all week, but learning to interact with others is just as important for kids such as Callum. In fact it is the only question/concern that his paediatrician has ever had about him being home educated; it was also the first question the LEA guy asked and that's before he knew about Callum's Asperger Syndrome. This leads me to wonder why all the concern with exams, SATS, school league tables, etc! If, once out of school, their only concern is social interaction, does this means that all those 'wonderful and interesting' opportunities that they get to learn in the said curriculum are a complete waste of time? I often think that they are! I sit there sometimes looking at the books and thinking 'I remember doing this, but I've never used it'! Yes, the ability to read is always useful. Of course it is! We wouldn't be able to read road signs, tell the difference between a can of beans and a can of peaches or understand the 1001 forms that we seem to have to fill in over the course of adulthood (actually I can read well and some of them still stump me). We do not have to have a love of reading to need the ability to read. The same is for writing! We need a certain standard, not so we can write the next bestseller, but so we can fill in those 1001 forms I've already mentioned. The same goes for maths, but honestly it's the ability to add up and take away that's of importance. Even multiplication and division could be argued as just a quicker way of doing the adding and subtracting. When was the last time you used a Cosine for example? Yes, if you want to make a shed, you need dimensions; if you have the desire to buy a new sofa, you need to be able to work out if it'll fit in through your front door (and we have made that mistake in the past believe me), but you don't need a degree in physics to do either, you need to be able to add up and take away! And when on earth have you ever been asked when Henry VIII ruled over England - only in an exam about history!!! My point being is that although I felt totally and utterly guilty about not doing 'schoolwork' I shouldn't have. My adult life has been spent having to interact with lots of different people from different walks of life, different ages, viewpoints, abilities, etc! So the fact that I spent a whole week getting him to interact was probably much much much more important! In fact, I should feel more guilty about this last week as we did 'schoolwork' and had an 'incident'!
Now the reason we did 'schoolwork' was because Callum wanted to, in fact he was very keen to do it! So keen in fact that one day he was filling in a worksheet at 8am by himself without my help!! He didn't do fantastically well at it, but he did it off his own back without prompting which is fantastic (it was a literacy one, hence the not being fantastic bit - literacy being his worst subject)! We don't follow a timetable as such, but we have a little list of things we'd like to achieve each day and last week we achieved and did more! Education City was a godsend and printing off the worksheets to do the following day and looking for similar pages in our various workbook collection helped to make sense of it all. We also baked cakes as I had an old friend come to visit and we rediscovered art!! He did see his best mate on Wednesday, but (as I felt really crap on Thursday) we didn't go trampolining and so he didn't see his usual crowd. But it didn't bother him! So looking back over the past couple of weeks from the sofa of ill on the Thursday afternoon I was feeling pretty smug! We'd socialised when it had suited him and it'd had been successful; we'd done schoolwork when he'd wanted to and that too had been successful. I thought 'I've cracked this Aspi thing'! However, Friday brought me straight back down to earth with a bang!
We were attending a workshop about castles at the Guildhall Museum, Rochester on Friday afternoon. I'd 'checked out' who was going to be there and there wasn't anyone who he didn't like; he'd been before, so no new situation; and most of the people going he knew/liked a lot. Plus the guy who runs the workshops is really good with our kids, so I thought we were safe and all bases had been covered! But no!!!!! Well, I say no; all bases were covered except I'd forgotten that Callum can be a bit of a git at times!! Now I don't mean that in a nasty way, I really really don't! But once Callum has 'one on him', it is incredible difficult to get him out of it! And to be honest he needs to learn how to get out of it himself! Callum had been fine about going for weeks, in fact he'd been quite keen until the day that is! Friday morning he spiralled into a mood of doom and gloom. By Friday afternoon he was the child from hell. I know I should have just not gone, but we all have to face situations sometimes that we don't want to (see previous blog) and I knew that it would be interesting and fun! Had it been London or had I known that there were people there he didn't like I wouldn't have pushed it, but I knew that that wasn't the case, so I did!!
We arrived early and met up with a couple of other families for lunch which he was fine with, then we got to the museum and again he was fine! But as soon as we went into the room he started! He refused, at first, to go in! I explained calmly that he didn't have to sit on the floor with the other children, he could sit with me, but that was good enough! I eventually ordered him in and he sat down with me, his back to the 'tutor' and proceeded to kick the leg of my chair and pinch my hand and arm! I tried to ignore it as I knew he was just after attention, but after 15mins of this I lost it - sorry, but I did!! You see I knew that there was nothing there that should have caused an 'Aspi moment'! I've been his mum for nearly 11years and home educated him for 3 of those! I know his triggers, I know what is going to set him off and I know damn well that there was absolutely nothing there. I avoid those kind of situations like the plague as it'll be me that suffers in the long term (who wouldn't avoid them?)! Sometimes Asperger/Autistic kids are just being pedantic just like neuro typical kids! They are just being naughty! And, I'm sorry, but to continue to kick my chair and pinch me for 15mins was being naughty! The workshop was interesting, it was hands-on and it was fun! If he could have come down off his high horse he would have enjoyed it! I know this because during an experiment which he refused to join in with, we went around the museum and he was fine! After the workshop, we went over to the castle and he was again fine! He was just being a kid who had worked himself into a frenzy of 'I'm not going to enjoy this and I'm going to prove I'm not by being disruptive'! If he truly had been having an Aspi moment he would not have calmed down at all, no matter where we were and what we were doing, I would have had to take him home, but that wasn't the case!
The outcome of me losing it was that I said something I never say "you are going back to school mate"! He looked at me completely aghast, stopped pinching me and turned around! It didn't mean that he joined in, but he stopped hurting me! That night I sat down and explained that I don't do this for fun, I do it because I care about him; because I never ever want to see him in a situation where he can't cope; I don't put him into those situations because I know how much they can confuse and frighten him; but I am not going to be his punchbag everytime he has a sulk! And if he can't respect me as much as I respect him then this will never work! He apologised and I think he understood and, of course, I would never really send him back to school. However, after having such a brilliant two weeks, we have ended on a bit of a sour note. I'm hoping that next week will be better and I'm sure it will be. It also just goes to show that, home educating or not, children will always be children.
xx
This past couple of weeks has been a bit odd on the home education front! It's been opposite ends of the spectrum if I'm honest!! Callum was keen last week for a start, haha! Which was a complete turn around from the week before which is where I suppose I should begin.
Weather was pretty good that week if I remember correctly and Callum (admittedly I was pretty much the same) just wasn't interested in doing anything remotely workbooky (I know that isn't a word, but it fits). With all this in mind we decided to say "let's have a social week instead" and he agreed! Now a lot of you may think that any kid would prefer a social week to a work week and I'm sure any school kid would love a week at home seeing his mates instead of being stuck in a classroom, but Callum, as we have ascertained on many occasions, is a bit different! Socialising to him can often be as stressful and as awful predicament than sitting in front of a workbook or, heaven forbid, sitting an exam! He doesn't 'enjoy' socialising unless it's on his terms and certainly not more than about once or twice a week, so the fact that he saw his best mate since nursery 3 times and had some children back after trampolining AND went to Gore Farm on the Sunday with my friend's (and his) girls was a bit of a shock!! 5 days out of 7 is a big thing!!! And he coped well and he enjoyed it and he wanted to do it, so all was good!!
I felt a bit guilty not getting anything remotely curriculumy (again I know that isn't a word) done all week, but learning to interact with others is just as important for kids such as Callum. In fact it is the only question/concern that his paediatrician has ever had about him being home educated; it was also the first question the LEA guy asked and that's before he knew about Callum's Asperger Syndrome. This leads me to wonder why all the concern with exams, SATS, school league tables, etc! If, once out of school, their only concern is social interaction, does this means that all those 'wonderful and interesting' opportunities that they get to learn in the said curriculum are a complete waste of time? I often think that they are! I sit there sometimes looking at the books and thinking 'I remember doing this, but I've never used it'! Yes, the ability to read is always useful. Of course it is! We wouldn't be able to read road signs, tell the difference between a can of beans and a can of peaches or understand the 1001 forms that we seem to have to fill in over the course of adulthood (actually I can read well and some of them still stump me). We do not have to have a love of reading to need the ability to read. The same is for writing! We need a certain standard, not so we can write the next bestseller, but so we can fill in those 1001 forms I've already mentioned. The same goes for maths, but honestly it's the ability to add up and take away that's of importance. Even multiplication and division could be argued as just a quicker way of doing the adding and subtracting. When was the last time you used a Cosine for example? Yes, if you want to make a shed, you need dimensions; if you have the desire to buy a new sofa, you need to be able to work out if it'll fit in through your front door (and we have made that mistake in the past believe me), but you don't need a degree in physics to do either, you need to be able to add up and take away! And when on earth have you ever been asked when Henry VIII ruled over England - only in an exam about history!!! My point being is that although I felt totally and utterly guilty about not doing 'schoolwork' I shouldn't have. My adult life has been spent having to interact with lots of different people from different walks of life, different ages, viewpoints, abilities, etc! So the fact that I spent a whole week getting him to interact was probably much much much more important! In fact, I should feel more guilty about this last week as we did 'schoolwork' and had an 'incident'!
Now the reason we did 'schoolwork' was because Callum wanted to, in fact he was very keen to do it! So keen in fact that one day he was filling in a worksheet at 8am by himself without my help!! He didn't do fantastically well at it, but he did it off his own back without prompting which is fantastic (it was a literacy one, hence the not being fantastic bit - literacy being his worst subject)! We don't follow a timetable as such, but we have a little list of things we'd like to achieve each day and last week we achieved and did more! Education City was a godsend and printing off the worksheets to do the following day and looking for similar pages in our various workbook collection helped to make sense of it all. We also baked cakes as I had an old friend come to visit and we rediscovered art!! He did see his best mate on Wednesday, but (as I felt really crap on Thursday) we didn't go trampolining and so he didn't see his usual crowd. But it didn't bother him! So looking back over the past couple of weeks from the sofa of ill on the Thursday afternoon I was feeling pretty smug! We'd socialised when it had suited him and it'd had been successful; we'd done schoolwork when he'd wanted to and that too had been successful. I thought 'I've cracked this Aspi thing'! However, Friday brought me straight back down to earth with a bang!
We were attending a workshop about castles at the Guildhall Museum, Rochester on Friday afternoon. I'd 'checked out' who was going to be there and there wasn't anyone who he didn't like; he'd been before, so no new situation; and most of the people going he knew/liked a lot. Plus the guy who runs the workshops is really good with our kids, so I thought we were safe and all bases had been covered! But no!!!!! Well, I say no; all bases were covered except I'd forgotten that Callum can be a bit of a git at times!! Now I don't mean that in a nasty way, I really really don't! But once Callum has 'one on him', it is incredible difficult to get him out of it! And to be honest he needs to learn how to get out of it himself! Callum had been fine about going for weeks, in fact he'd been quite keen until the day that is! Friday morning he spiralled into a mood of doom and gloom. By Friday afternoon he was the child from hell. I know I should have just not gone, but we all have to face situations sometimes that we don't want to (see previous blog) and I knew that it would be interesting and fun! Had it been London or had I known that there were people there he didn't like I wouldn't have pushed it, but I knew that that wasn't the case, so I did!!
We arrived early and met up with a couple of other families for lunch which he was fine with, then we got to the museum and again he was fine! But as soon as we went into the room he started! He refused, at first, to go in! I explained calmly that he didn't have to sit on the floor with the other children, he could sit with me, but that was good enough! I eventually ordered him in and he sat down with me, his back to the 'tutor' and proceeded to kick the leg of my chair and pinch my hand and arm! I tried to ignore it as I knew he was just after attention, but after 15mins of this I lost it - sorry, but I did!! You see I knew that there was nothing there that should have caused an 'Aspi moment'! I've been his mum for nearly 11years and home educated him for 3 of those! I know his triggers, I know what is going to set him off and I know damn well that there was absolutely nothing there. I avoid those kind of situations like the plague as it'll be me that suffers in the long term (who wouldn't avoid them?)! Sometimes Asperger/Autistic kids are just being pedantic just like neuro typical kids! They are just being naughty! And, I'm sorry, but to continue to kick my chair and pinch me for 15mins was being naughty! The workshop was interesting, it was hands-on and it was fun! If he could have come down off his high horse he would have enjoyed it! I know this because during an experiment which he refused to join in with, we went around the museum and he was fine! After the workshop, we went over to the castle and he was again fine! He was just being a kid who had worked himself into a frenzy of 'I'm not going to enjoy this and I'm going to prove I'm not by being disruptive'! If he truly had been having an Aspi moment he would not have calmed down at all, no matter where we were and what we were doing, I would have had to take him home, but that wasn't the case!
The outcome of me losing it was that I said something I never say "you are going back to school mate"! He looked at me completely aghast, stopped pinching me and turned around! It didn't mean that he joined in, but he stopped hurting me! That night I sat down and explained that I don't do this for fun, I do it because I care about him; because I never ever want to see him in a situation where he can't cope; I don't put him into those situations because I know how much they can confuse and frighten him; but I am not going to be his punchbag everytime he has a sulk! And if he can't respect me as much as I respect him then this will never work! He apologised and I think he understood and, of course, I would never really send him back to school. However, after having such a brilliant two weeks, we have ended on a bit of a sour note. I'm hoping that next week will be better and I'm sure it will be. It also just goes to show that, home educating or not, children will always be children.
xx
Saturday, 29 May 2010
MINI WARS AND RELUCTANT ALLIES
Hi all
It's been a while and I do try and keep up, but time keeps flying by so quickly and we have been having a mini war here.
I must explain to those that do not know I have the strangest shaped garden in Medway (I've looked on maps and it is pretty unique). It is L Shaped! I've been told by various sources that the house once belonged to a fireman in Victorian times and he used to keep horses in the back; hence the side alleyway which is soley for our use. I've also been told that the land which now houses the 3 houses to our left (as you face the front of our house) also belonged to the house we now own. When the owner decided to sell the land he didn't want to lose all of it, so only sold off half the length which resulted in our property having an L shaped garden. It is approx 80' long from house to rear fence, in old money, and at about 40' up it stretches across the next 3 gardens by about 55' making it a pretty reasonable size garden and the main reason we bought it. It does mean, however, that we have 9 garden neighbours instead of the normal 3!
Which brings me onto my mini war. When we first moved in, Oct 08, the rear fence which separated us from 4 of our garden neighbours in King Street was pretty poor. One had done a reasonable fence under the 'tree house', one had a ramshackle shed (it had the front, but no sides or back) so they didn't go near the back and the other two where just metal fencing, corregated rusty sheeting, paving slabs and oven grills. We intended to replace the rear fence but wasn't entirely sure if it was ours, theirs or joint responsibility and we weren't too concerned. However, one of the houses had a Staffordshire Terrier that insisted on coming into our garden every time their children went in and forgot to take it with them! It was a sweet little thing and very friendly but also rather annoying as Phil and Callum aren't keen on Staffs and I was wary as we have a black Labrador and having known people with Staffs am aware that they usually don't get on well with other dogs! We managed to scrape together enough cash by the springtime to erect a 6.5' fence all the way along the inner perimeter of the rear boundary and the problem was solved!
However, over the winter of 09/10 the family had decided that having a Staff (and losing two other Staffs who had got out and ran away) wasn't enough and they got a Mastiff! All was not too bad until they decided to throw out a mattress which they propped up against the back fence (the garden is full of rubbish). The Mastiff, only a year old I might add, heard our dog in our garden one afternoon, raced up the mattress and jumped the fence! Callum was absolutely terrified and I was a little uncertain as the Mastiff was obviously nervous (realising it was in a strange place with strange people and no way home I couldn't exactly blame it). I love dogs, am not particular scared of them (I've beaten off a huge white Boxer before that attacked my Lab when it was a puppy, while the Boxer's owner stood by sweetly calling "get off boy and come here" - like it was going to pay any attention), but I do know that dogs when nervous can be a bit, how shall we say, snappy!!
Anyway, luckily the owner came to the fence, apologised profusely and came round to get it! While here he proudly showed that the Mastiff had lost one of it's toes as it had got too close to the Staff who'd had pups!! But then went on to reassure me that it/they were perfectly lovely dog/s who wouldn't harm anyone and who were brilliant with his kids! I nodded in all the right places but firmly asked him to remove the mattress so that it couldn't happen again!! All the time thinking they it may be fine with his kids, but I wasn't entirely convinced that it/they would be fine with mine and that he wasn't really taking into account that I also had a dog who was likely to want to protect its own territory and protect my child and, as his dog was the intruder, all hell could break loose!! Obviously a very sweet guy, but a bit thick shall we say!
Well the dog didn't manage to get over again as he did remove the mattress, but, of course, now their dog knew about our dog and so every time we went into our garden it would launch itself at the fence barking like crazy! Over the past couple of months it has been left in the garden more and more (I think it's getting a bit big for them to handle to be honest and it still has at least another years growth to go) and it has been barking pretty consistently and launching itself at the fence. It got to the point that Callum wouldn't go out into his own garden because he was terrified! I'd gone out a couple of times to hang washing out and it had gone berserk barking and now growling, so I could totally appreciate why C wouldn't want to go out there. To make matters worse the children began climbing onto the fence (up the rusty old one by the way) and being nosey and when I'd asked them to get down I'd had 'language' from the boy! I must point out at this time of the story that the eldest, a girl, is approx 6/7 and the language expert boy was about 4!!! I decided to call our local Civic Warden for advice which was that I should go and speak to the parents about the kids and the dog!! Great!! I also rang the local community police office and got pretty much the same advice.
This went on for about another week until one Thursday after trampolining we had a few of the kids back to our house. The weather was lovely and they went outside to use the trampoline and have some fun. Up came the kids, bang goes the dog against the fence and the barking/growling ensued! I asked the kids to get down, but the girl said she was stuck!! She asked her brother to go get dad about 1/2doz times, but no dad appeared! Ok, time to go round! So off I hobbled, knocked on the door, explained that their daughter was stuck and asked them to try and keep the kids off the fence as it made their dog worse at launching itself at the fence and was terrifying my son! They apologised and 'dad' was sent out to get kids down. On the way back I was caught up with by a guy who said they were the neighbours from hell and proceeded to tell me horror stories about the kids, noise, etc to the point where his son had moved out of his house next door! Sorry, that isn't going to happen to me!! I thanked him for his information and told him to keep in touch. On entering the house I discovered that the dad had come outside and got the kids down, but they had promptly climbed back up again once dad had gone and had started giving Callum abuse over the fence!! Time, I thought, to ring the coppers again, however, no-one available so left a message!!!!
Since that day I've been in touch with the Council again and relayed information to the Civic Warden, got a noise nuisance diary and been keeping notes of all incidents. Then wonders of wonders I heard voices in the garden last Wednesday and it sounded like someone giving advice. It turns out that my friendly PC had been on holiday and on his return had taken it upon himself (armed with all the information I'd given him previously) to go visit the house! He advised them that the children climbing on the fence could be seen as criminal at best and welfare at worst (apparently both younger children (they have 3, I thought it was only 2) were running around completely naked both inside and outside the house. The garden was full of wood, rubbish, bits of furniture, dog faeces, broken toys and mud (no grass). He suggested that they remove the rubbish and do something about keeping the dog under control! Wow, I love him!!!
As a result, the very next day (I was out) the neighbour had called Phil from over the fence when he'd got home and asked if he could use some of our old trellising to higher our fence which Phil helped him do. Has cleared half the garden of rubbish and built another 5' fence half way down his garden so that the dog can't even reach our fence and the rest of the rubbish is contained. Phil has offered to help him clear anything he can't get rid of as that's what he does!
So far then I think the war is over! I know that some of you will probably say we should have just offered to help in the first place and maybe we should have, but Phil isn't the sort of person to confront people and so wouldn't have gone round. Plus when I have spoken re the dogs before they have dealt with the immediate problem, but have done nothing to stop it long term. I think having someone officially visit has made them realise that it isn't just us moaning and that they must take some responsibility for their own dogs and children. The only downside so far has been that I've now had their neighbours ringing me expecting me to help them with their problems. They seem to think I've set up a petition to get them evicted and that they can just come round and sign it! Unfortunately, that was not my intention unless the problems escalated and, as my own issue is only with the dog and children in the garden and that has been resolved, it isn't my place to start getting involved with issues such as night disturbances. They have been given all the information that I have and I've pointed them all in the direction of the Council, but I feel slightly aggrieved as they knew the problems I was having and had my number (I'd given it to the guy I'd met to forward on), but didn't bother ringing me until they realised that I'd got somewhere! Sorry mates, you're on your own! It's a bit like the Americans isn't it? They were asked to join the war, but refused until they got bombed themselves. I've reached a truce in my battle so far and I'm not going to reactivate any more gunfire. Fight your own war!!
So I have had a week of no fence launching, only one incident of children climbing on fence and although the dog is still barking, it isn't so often and isn't for so long! I'm still going to send in the noise diary, but will add a covering letter to say that I want no further action taken, but could they ensure it is kept on record so if the problem does rear it's ugly head again (after all the dog IS going to get bigger and stronger, so whether the secondary fence will hold it forever I do not know) the records are there!
PS: I apologise to any Americans reading this and I, by no means, hold any grudges towards you personally!! It's just a metaphore.
It's been a while and I do try and keep up, but time keeps flying by so quickly and we have been having a mini war here.
I must explain to those that do not know I have the strangest shaped garden in Medway (I've looked on maps and it is pretty unique). It is L Shaped! I've been told by various sources that the house once belonged to a fireman in Victorian times and he used to keep horses in the back; hence the side alleyway which is soley for our use. I've also been told that the land which now houses the 3 houses to our left (as you face the front of our house) also belonged to the house we now own. When the owner decided to sell the land he didn't want to lose all of it, so only sold off half the length which resulted in our property having an L shaped garden. It is approx 80' long from house to rear fence, in old money, and at about 40' up it stretches across the next 3 gardens by about 55' making it a pretty reasonable size garden and the main reason we bought it. It does mean, however, that we have 9 garden neighbours instead of the normal 3!
Which brings me onto my mini war. When we first moved in, Oct 08, the rear fence which separated us from 4 of our garden neighbours in King Street was pretty poor. One had done a reasonable fence under the 'tree house', one had a ramshackle shed (it had the front, but no sides or back) so they didn't go near the back and the other two where just metal fencing, corregated rusty sheeting, paving slabs and oven grills. We intended to replace the rear fence but wasn't entirely sure if it was ours, theirs or joint responsibility and we weren't too concerned. However, one of the houses had a Staffordshire Terrier that insisted on coming into our garden every time their children went in and forgot to take it with them! It was a sweet little thing and very friendly but also rather annoying as Phil and Callum aren't keen on Staffs and I was wary as we have a black Labrador and having known people with Staffs am aware that they usually don't get on well with other dogs! We managed to scrape together enough cash by the springtime to erect a 6.5' fence all the way along the inner perimeter of the rear boundary and the problem was solved!
However, over the winter of 09/10 the family had decided that having a Staff (and losing two other Staffs who had got out and ran away) wasn't enough and they got a Mastiff! All was not too bad until they decided to throw out a mattress which they propped up against the back fence (the garden is full of rubbish). The Mastiff, only a year old I might add, heard our dog in our garden one afternoon, raced up the mattress and jumped the fence! Callum was absolutely terrified and I was a little uncertain as the Mastiff was obviously nervous (realising it was in a strange place with strange people and no way home I couldn't exactly blame it). I love dogs, am not particular scared of them (I've beaten off a huge white Boxer before that attacked my Lab when it was a puppy, while the Boxer's owner stood by sweetly calling "get off boy and come here" - like it was going to pay any attention), but I do know that dogs when nervous can be a bit, how shall we say, snappy!!
Anyway, luckily the owner came to the fence, apologised profusely and came round to get it! While here he proudly showed that the Mastiff had lost one of it's toes as it had got too close to the Staff who'd had pups!! But then went on to reassure me that it/they were perfectly lovely dog/s who wouldn't harm anyone and who were brilliant with his kids! I nodded in all the right places but firmly asked him to remove the mattress so that it couldn't happen again!! All the time thinking they it may be fine with his kids, but I wasn't entirely convinced that it/they would be fine with mine and that he wasn't really taking into account that I also had a dog who was likely to want to protect its own territory and protect my child and, as his dog was the intruder, all hell could break loose!! Obviously a very sweet guy, but a bit thick shall we say!
Well the dog didn't manage to get over again as he did remove the mattress, but, of course, now their dog knew about our dog and so every time we went into our garden it would launch itself at the fence barking like crazy! Over the past couple of months it has been left in the garden more and more (I think it's getting a bit big for them to handle to be honest and it still has at least another years growth to go) and it has been barking pretty consistently and launching itself at the fence. It got to the point that Callum wouldn't go out into his own garden because he was terrified! I'd gone out a couple of times to hang washing out and it had gone berserk barking and now growling, so I could totally appreciate why C wouldn't want to go out there. To make matters worse the children began climbing onto the fence (up the rusty old one by the way) and being nosey and when I'd asked them to get down I'd had 'language' from the boy! I must point out at this time of the story that the eldest, a girl, is approx 6/7 and the language expert boy was about 4!!! I decided to call our local Civic Warden for advice which was that I should go and speak to the parents about the kids and the dog!! Great!! I also rang the local community police office and got pretty much the same advice.
This went on for about another week until one Thursday after trampolining we had a few of the kids back to our house. The weather was lovely and they went outside to use the trampoline and have some fun. Up came the kids, bang goes the dog against the fence and the barking/growling ensued! I asked the kids to get down, but the girl said she was stuck!! She asked her brother to go get dad about 1/2doz times, but no dad appeared! Ok, time to go round! So off I hobbled, knocked on the door, explained that their daughter was stuck and asked them to try and keep the kids off the fence as it made their dog worse at launching itself at the fence and was terrifying my son! They apologised and 'dad' was sent out to get kids down. On the way back I was caught up with by a guy who said they were the neighbours from hell and proceeded to tell me horror stories about the kids, noise, etc to the point where his son had moved out of his house next door! Sorry, that isn't going to happen to me!! I thanked him for his information and told him to keep in touch. On entering the house I discovered that the dad had come outside and got the kids down, but they had promptly climbed back up again once dad had gone and had started giving Callum abuse over the fence!! Time, I thought, to ring the coppers again, however, no-one available so left a message!!!!
Since that day I've been in touch with the Council again and relayed information to the Civic Warden, got a noise nuisance diary and been keeping notes of all incidents. Then wonders of wonders I heard voices in the garden last Wednesday and it sounded like someone giving advice. It turns out that my friendly PC had been on holiday and on his return had taken it upon himself (armed with all the information I'd given him previously) to go visit the house! He advised them that the children climbing on the fence could be seen as criminal at best and welfare at worst (apparently both younger children (they have 3, I thought it was only 2) were running around completely naked both inside and outside the house. The garden was full of wood, rubbish, bits of furniture, dog faeces, broken toys and mud (no grass). He suggested that they remove the rubbish and do something about keeping the dog under control! Wow, I love him!!!
As a result, the very next day (I was out) the neighbour had called Phil from over the fence when he'd got home and asked if he could use some of our old trellising to higher our fence which Phil helped him do. Has cleared half the garden of rubbish and built another 5' fence half way down his garden so that the dog can't even reach our fence and the rest of the rubbish is contained. Phil has offered to help him clear anything he can't get rid of as that's what he does!
So far then I think the war is over! I know that some of you will probably say we should have just offered to help in the first place and maybe we should have, but Phil isn't the sort of person to confront people and so wouldn't have gone round. Plus when I have spoken re the dogs before they have dealt with the immediate problem, but have done nothing to stop it long term. I think having someone officially visit has made them realise that it isn't just us moaning and that they must take some responsibility for their own dogs and children. The only downside so far has been that I've now had their neighbours ringing me expecting me to help them with their problems. They seem to think I've set up a petition to get them evicted and that they can just come round and sign it! Unfortunately, that was not my intention unless the problems escalated and, as my own issue is only with the dog and children in the garden and that has been resolved, it isn't my place to start getting involved with issues such as night disturbances. They have been given all the information that I have and I've pointed them all in the direction of the Council, but I feel slightly aggrieved as they knew the problems I was having and had my number (I'd given it to the guy I'd met to forward on), but didn't bother ringing me until they realised that I'd got somewhere! Sorry mates, you're on your own! It's a bit like the Americans isn't it? They were asked to join the war, but refused until they got bombed themselves. I've reached a truce in my battle so far and I'm not going to reactivate any more gunfire. Fight your own war!!
So I have had a week of no fence launching, only one incident of children climbing on fence and although the dog is still barking, it isn't so often and isn't for so long! I'm still going to send in the noise diary, but will add a covering letter to say that I want no further action taken, but could they ensure it is kept on record so if the problem does rear it's ugly head again (after all the dog IS going to get bigger and stronger, so whether the secondary fence will hold it forever I do not know) the records are there!
PS: I apologise to any Americans reading this and I, by no means, hold any grudges towards you personally!! It's just a metaphore.
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